Purpose

She always wondered if something what wrong with her. Thoughts running through her mind that spoke about other people even people she never met.  So she lived in silence with this torment, a gift, wrapped in question marks that she could not open yet was there in front of her. That windy afternoon, grey angry skies chasing after devils to keep us safe she was heading home with her high jacket collar up, covering her face from the leaves being blown around in the fight, but also to avoid looking in the eyes of others that would trigger their thoughts to her like an open book...she's seen and heard enough for today.  On the other side of the street a man with his coat over his face as well, rushing and not paying attention to the lights ran out into the street and was impacted by a truck that had the right of way.  The impact of the jagged grill on man's body was perfectly lined up with the right momentum that his head severed  and went spinning and bouncing while his now broken body flew back and rolled a few times on the ground.

The horn from the truck and the screams had her frozen her in her old leather boots that she likes to wear that she got from her grandfather before he died and she watched as the man's head rolled to a stop by that right boot.  She immediately picket up the man's head, and turned his face to hers, his thick wavy hear now a mess sticking on his forehead and a few lines of blood flashed across his face.  The fright of making his fatal mistake still showed on his face but he was till alive and she stared at him.  She saw that his fright was more than losing his life, he had a daughter he's now leaving behind, still young and innocent.  She held his head with her right hand and used her left to fix his hair away from his forehead and picked out a few Autumn leaves off his cheek.  "Your time has come David, we needed a new leader for this world and your seed possessed the perfection they sought.  Her mom will teach her wisdom and she will meet people who will shape her into the leader she was born to be, her path is already made, so rest now David."  With that she leaned in and kissed David on his forehead and his face changed from the frozen fright to understanding what needs to happen.  The peace on his face made her smile back at him and she used two fingers and closed his eyelids.  She bent down, put his head down on the sidewalk, stood up and continued walking, this time lowering her collar..letting them...in.

Covered

Felt like I was walking through a night club full of people ...but they were all covered in a black oily tar.  They kept reaching and touching me as I passed them.  I couldn't hear the music but they danced and swayed and reached for me.  As I walked, they let me pass but they touched my shoulders and arms wanting me to stay but not really stopping me. Still couldn't hear the music but it was a huge dance floor, dark, filled with these tar covered bodies dancing almost trance like.  I felt some confusion as to why I was there but then I realized, I knew them.  Familiar faces, people I've met or known, people I wanted to help.  Them touching me was symbolizing something I couldn't really tell, but knowing that they weren't stopping me did tell me that it was ok that I couldn't save them. I think this walk on this dance floor is the stage of my life and not seeing the end of the dance floor tells me that my journey to meeting more people will never end and I guess I will not be able to save them all but they will leave a piece of them on me and I will know it's ok that I can't save them all.

Broke

That Saturday morning, I woke up uneasy, I was a little angry, like a frustrated type of anger.  Nothing I did to center my soul worked.  I went in the living room and sat in the lotus and I saw a wolf's head with a thick body almost bear like, fast and strong race up to my face, stared and growled at me then dashed off.  His eyes and teeth were already red.  That told me that it had already committed its crime and the blood was the blood of someone's spirit so I thought it was mine.  I went to work bewildered because I couldn't point a finger at anything in my life that was pulling my emotions in that direction with that kind of magnitude but I really could feel that my spirit was intact, just weighted down with something happening.  As the day came to an end, it dawned on me, someone's spirit broke and it was eaten by that wolf-bear like creature. Someone I knew and it was too late to save them.  It was a breaking I never felt before, a breaking that can leave someone hollow for the rest of their life, just darkness and death.  So the question was, who?  By Sunday evening I found out who it was.  I never told them of the vision and that I knew from the day before because I knew right as it happened.  Like I've been saying, I don't know what these images mean, why I'm the one seeing them, nor what is it that I'm supposed to do with them.  I'm chained to this chair front row alone in the theater with my eyes forced open to watch all the performances.

White Face

Almost like he was drawn on paper and then took that cartoon like shape right into its lifelike form.  A white circular face with a pencil thin, slightly wavy body...but in a black three pieced suit with those long tails on the back.  He just stood there, outside her window.  His cartoon like hands holding the window sill and his drawn half smile face just stared through the window.  His body waved very slowly like a calm sea.  The tails of his jacket were long and floated, stretching out into the street.  It was in the middle of the night when all were asleep. No wind so even the leaves were asleep, just the moonshine staging this thing's presence. 
He didn't want in, he didn't want anything nor did he utter a word.  Just a paper white face and a black suited pencil thin body standing, waving, floating, slowly.  I've not been able to decode the meaning of this one out of all the other visions I've had and I guess it's not meant for me to know so I will leave it alone.  But his presence and existence does hint to something unusual for her.  That subtle smile drawn on his face let me feel that he knows where he is and that he is in control of her or the events in her life at least.  I will pray she discovers this soon.

Black Mist

I always felt uneasy when I was there.  I never wanted to go further than the living room.  I could feel this thick air that gave the impression that it was alive and any further and it would suck you in. I could feel an air wrapping around my writs and ankles like invisible feather weight chains when I stood for too long. The last time I drove away, I looked in my rear view mirror at the house which was something I don't normally do and the house was totally covered in a thick black mist, so thick you could not see the lights.  It moved slowly off the house like it wanted to come after me.  I've never been back or communicated with them.  They were the master of the black mist. 

Backpack

I hugged her and as my arms made contact with her back, it didn't feel right.  I shrugged it off.  Later on as I stood facing her , I saw a pair of red eyes  peak out at me from behind her just below her left ear through her hair. Then it hit me.  It was a demon the size of a napsack with its arms lapped around her shoulders just like the straps of a backpack.  It's legs also lapped around her waist, just like you would a hiking bag.  But he was under her skin, literally.  He peeked his head out at me because he knew I recognized his presence. 
His eyes blinked a few times while she spoke, completely unaware that a demon was living under her skin clinging to her like a backpack.
Her pride keeps him there.  He's fed and stays strong under her skin.  She will never know he's there as he is well placed and has taught her to blame others for the weight she carries.  Even now as I write this, his eyes opened knowing I'm writing about him.  Her I feel the most for because she us unaware and will be for a very long time.

Backpack.

Not Allowed To Speak

Long scaly fingers stretched all the way around her mouth to the back of her head.  His grip was tight.  She was not allowed to speak.  Fear shun from her eyes. Her scream to God would break the demon's hands but she only tried to speak in her worldly tongue.  

She was not allowed to speak.

The Congregation

Demons had no fear, they were in the church too.  Making sure their slaves would not raise their hands up to beg God for forgiveness.  They were 7 feet tall and they stood beside their human properties with on hand around the back of their necks and making them hold their heads down.  They couldn't raise their hands anyway as they were clamped with shackles and chains that were so heavy that the chains didn't even sway while they were standing.  The choruses of the congregation sang on and the demons were not even remotely affected.  All they did was stare at the preacher as if they knew something he did not.  They were confident that their human slaves would not try to break free to and run to the alter.  They knew fear was stronger than hope, that's why they came.  I could see the conquered look on their faces as the demons had their hands wrapped around the back of their necks.  As I stared at them, it was as if the rest of the congregation faded to an out of focus angle.  But then I looked around the church and their was dozens of them.  All the singing, worshiping and praising, they just stood their holding claim to their conquered humans.  
I felt no fear as they were just their to protect their property.  The rest of the congregation faded back into focus and the sound of the singing start up again.
The congregation.

Footstep

She couldn't do anything.  I used to think she chose not to. But one day I looked at her and she was no longer standing a few feet from me.  She was across a grassy muddy field, flat face down in the mud being stepped on by a demon's foot.  The demon was so large and tall that I could not see his face and his foot was as big as her entire body, pressing her into the ground.  Now I know why she is stuck. As I stared at the sight being presented to me, she raised her head up and look at me.  Her body was completely being pressed in by the demon's foot but her head was free enough to move.  I looked at her and I was motionless.  
I'd like to think that she got her right arm free and she stretched it out to me for help but I knew that was my imagination inside my vision...she just stared at me, her face covered in mud being stepped on by this demon.  
I knew what she had to do, she had to scream to God but it was not for me to tell her.  As the image faded away and she was back to standing a few feet away from me, I knew that was the last time I was going to see her.

Man On Fire

He sat there, his head hung low. On my second look back at him his skin started to glow in waves of red.
I thought it was just light reflections.  On my third look, those red waves were actually lifting off his arms and his face.  Now the glow was all over him like there was a red tint placed over him.  After fighting what I new to be true, he was spiritually on fire.  But not of the kind you would hear about.  This was a hell fire.  My stare watched that lifted glow engulf into flames.  I started to struggle to breathe and I could feel the heat on the side of my neck and face. Not burning me but I could feel the immense heat pressing on me like a towel that was soaked in hot water.  It was only him on fire as he read and spoke, the chair didn't burn, the room didn't glow nor did the fire spread, only the heat against me.
I had to leave and I did, abruptly.  I drove so fast trying to speed air back into my lungs and cool the side of my face off. I felt his guilt and his cruel acts.  But more so I felt the burn of his pride, which is stopping him from being remorseful.  But I know his memories live with him daily in the forefront of his mind pouring over him like a waterfall.  That's why he hangs his head low from the weight of it all.

Man on fire.

Sight

However it started, that's no longer my concern.  I always knew i was better at feeling and writing than expressing.  I've ruined relationships because of this.  I felt truths and lies even when I was being verbally told something different.  I figured it was just excellent intuition...until the visions started.

Friends, family, strangers, whether I knew them deeply, lightly or not at all.  I realised I no longer needed to even as much as talk to someone before I could feel...and see.  I just had to be close enough or just be able to stare at them for a while.  I always considered myself shy, even though I had quite an active extra curricular life growing up but I always shut down in crowds.  I just wrote it off as shyness but what I was hiding was my true gift.  Do you know how disturbing it is to hear the inside of someone screaming like a tortured phoenix yet not one word is coming out of their mouth? To know when it's time to leave the presence of an individual when no circumstance warranted it? Or to spend tireless effort to help a stranger with something that no one in their own life even understood to recognize?

I'd come home drained or leave a location like a bat out of hell (even though I drive fast anyway but there was that extra need to leave), or spend countless hours waiting on someone to finally change something in their life when they didn't even know I was thinking about them. I know...depressing...but the few times I've managed to help someone, makes all the anonymous wasted energy worth it.  The visions became more frequent once I accepted this gift.  But I'm still at the stage where I don't know what to do with these visions.  I started drawing them but I knew having the drawn images in my home would materialize their presence.  So yet again I resort to the pen, to move them from the forest of my mind to the prison of digital ink and paper so I can sleep at night.

Needless to say I will not be mentioning the owners of these images for that is between them and I.  Even they themselves are unaware of what I saw, in them, on them and around them.  My Empath abilities are acute to where I can see the emotional and the spiritual, allowing me to be able point a finger or at least to personify the root of someones emotional state.  I'm not sure if I should warn you, just know that these are real.

Definition

Before I start to share my experiences, if you are unfamiliar with the term, below I have shared a few explanations.  

1:  Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme, and are less apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is the filter through which they experience the world. Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually attuned, and good listeners. If you want heart, empaths have got it. Through thick and thin, they’re there for you, world-class nurturers.

The trademark of empaths is that they know where you’re coming from. Some can do this without taking on people’s feelings. However, for better or worse, can become angst-sucking sponges. This often overrides the sublime capacity to absorb positive emotions and all that is beautiful. If empaths are around peace and love, their bodies assimilate these and flourish. Negativity, though, often feels assaultive, exhausting. Thus, they’re particularly easy marks for emotional vampires, whose fear or rage can ravage empaths. As a subconscious defense, they may gain weight as a buffer. When thin, they’re more vulnerable to negativity, a missing cause of overeating. Plus, an empath’s sensitivity can be overwhelming in romantic relationships; many stay single since they haven’t learned to negotiate their special cohabitation needs with a partner.

When empaths absorb the impact of stressful emotions, it can trigger panic attacks, depression, food, sex and drug binges, and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis from fatigue to agorophobia.  Judith Orloff MD,

2:  An Empath is a person who is gifted in sensing other peoples emotion and is allowed to feel other people's pain to help cope and to help heal with others emotional scars.

3:  Another definition of Empath is that of the Empathic Guru. The Empathic Guru is someone who believes it is their mission in life to do outreach to others and help guide them on their spiritual path to perfection, enlightenment, or infinite peace. In the doing, they willingly set themselves, their needs and wants, aside and sacrifice themselves for others, because this is where their sense of self and self worth rises out of.



QUIZ: AM I AN EMPATH?  Judith Orloff MD,

Ask yourself:

-Have I been labeled as “too emotional” or overly sensitive?
-If a friend is distraught, do I start feeling it too?
-Are my feelings easily hurt?
-Am I emotionally drained by crowds, require time alone to revive?
-Do my nerves get frayed by noise, smells, or excessive talk?
-Do I prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please?
-DoI overeat to cope with emotional stress?
-Am I afraid of becoming engulfed by intimate relationships?
If you answer “yes” to 1-3 of these questions, you’re at least part empath. Responding “yes” to more than 3 indicates that you’ve found your emotional type.